It’s important to be able to maximize turnover and confusion while minimizing employee retention. This is by no mean an exhaustive list, but it will, without a doubt, be successful, unlike your business.
Eliminate all privacy. Employees should feel like they’re being watched at all times. Ideally utilize an open floor plan, which can maximize distractions. If an open room isn’t available, cram as many people into small rooms as humanly possible.
Rant
- I have grown increasingly frustrated with the world as people have become more and more convinced that “schema-less” is actually a feature to be proud of (or even exists). For over ten years I’ve worked with close to a dozen different databases in production and have not once seen “schemaless” truly manifest. What’s extremely frustrating is seeing this from vendors, who should really know better. At best, we should be using the description “provides little to no help in enforcing a schema” or “you’re on your own, good luck.
- Over three years ago I wrote about how you cannot use a stored procedure in a subquery. Well, it’s 2010, and I’m still annoyed by this and a handful of other things. I was just working today on a report consisting of a series of queries, taking about a minute to generate. Some of the data would be created in a temporary table and queried against multiple times for performance reasons, and ultimately spit out into a CSV file for someone to examine later.
- Over the last 5 years, I’ve read so many articles about how X doesn’t scale. PHP, MySQL, SQL Server, Apache, you name it - everything gets a bad rap. Everyone has a different idea of scale and size, and sadly most people think their site with 1 million page views a month can’t handle the load because whatever technology they chose to use supposedly doesn’t scale. Guess what folks - the problem probably isn’t the language you chose, or the database you’re using.
- Ebay deserves a lot of credit for building a massive system that never seems to be down. Great. But you know what? That doesn’t excuse them for creating some really stupid interfaces or being complete assholes. At the bottom of an email they sent, I saw this gem next to unsubscribe: Please note that it may take up to 10 days to process your request. Ten days. Ten days?
- I’ll keep this short. Please, stop trying to be clever. I’m talking to you, mediocre developer. I realized you think it’s awesome to use a different file extension, like .awesome. It’s not. You’re really not accomplishing anything. If your excuse if that you don’t want people to realize you’re using PHP, have the sense to disable the server signature in apache, because anyone that’s actually trying to hack your machine is going to check that.
- I was trying to figure out how to extend my wireless network down a few floors a few days ago, and one of my queries brought me to experts exchange. The question looked useful: Using Linksys WAP54G as Wireless Repeater. This is exactly what I wanted to do. However, once I actually scrolled down to view the answers, I saw this I thought this was pretty weird, since I was pretty sure in the snippet I saw on Google’s results they had part of the solution I was looking for.
- I used to think the wikipedia was pretty cool. The idea of being able to collaborate on a topic and create an article together sounds wonderful. Today, I say, it sucks. Want to know why? I edited an article, updating it with correct information, and my edit was rejected within 5 minutes. ** 00:01, 16 August 2006 (hist) (diff) Answerbag (rv - Vandalism. Jonathan Haddad is not listed on the site under staff.